Fast Cheap and Out of Control

My friend Kevin recommended I see Fast, Cheap and Out of Control recently. He knew (and was right) that it was in my wheelhouse and actually sent me a copy from Amazon. Merry Christmas, Kevs...

It's a very unique Errol Morris documentary shot by the cinematographer who did Natural Born Killers (a movie I'm secretly very fond of). It follows a topiary gardener, a biologist that studies mole rats, a lion tamer, and a robotics engineer. All seemingly disparate topics that eventually blend into a pretty brilliant theme about man's role in nature.

My favorite is the robotics engineer (though the lion tamer comes close), who has a brilliant digression about how robots begin to take on identities. There is a sense of being that can transcend their programming, where they are simply reacting to their environment. He goes on to specify how absurd it is to have consciousness without a body - a very subtle (and maybe unintentional) reminder that the separation of mind and body is a myth.

It's funny to watch that idea in action with this collection of robot videos (the best from 2008). The robots playing violin and soccer is fun to watch, but this one is the most singularity-esque and seemingly applicable to humanity. Skip ahead to 3:50 to see this strength suit in action.

Nigerian Shape-Shifting Goats

Being such a neuro-enthusiast, I often catch myself at parties extolling its virtues, explaining how its discoveries will dispel many of the common mass delusions of our time (religion, global warming, ghosts, etc). Whenever I have that discussion with my father, he gives me a friendly but condescending look and says he hopes I'm right.

I understand his doubt when I see articles like this on a Monday morning (thanks Gordon).

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

Is the world one big satire show now? A shape-shifting friggin goat?! Okay, I give up...you win, Dad...

The Large Hadron Rap

Quite possibly the nerdiest thing I've ever seen also happens to be the best explanation for how the large hadron collider works. I'm not really into her flow so much, but I actually feel confident enough now to try discussing this with someone. Who wants some?

Welcome to what has probably been re-enacted endlessly in AP high school physics classes around the globe. (Thanks, John).

The 80s - How one drug could create 10 years worth of unintentional comedy

I mean, this video pretty much says it all doesn't it?

Was everyone doing so much blow, that no one could have the foresight to say, "dudes, I don't think it's good idea for you to play air and wall keyboard..." Jeez, just watch..

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I mean, really, not ONE guy smoking a joint with a bit of perspective?

How could this happen??

Eddy Curry Finds Gap in Homosexuality Definition

All crap studies trying to find a physical substrate for homosexuality (either in the brain or DNA) basically define homosexuals as having physical, emotional, or neurological traits of the opposite sex. A gay man has more feminine characteristics, and a woman has more male characteristics.

Let's take the recent case of New York Knickerbocker, Mr. Eddy Curry. Eddy it seems has homosexual tendencies as evidenced by his recent sexual harassment lawsuit, filed by his male driver:

The lawsuit alleges, "On more than one occasion in the last year of plaintiff's employment, Curry approached him, in the nude, and tried to solicit him to engage in homosexual acts with him by telling the plaintiff 'Look at me, Dave, look' and 'Come and touch it, Dave.' "

How do you resist that invitation?

These examples of homosexuality never seem to make into the scientific literature do they? Like with most worthless neuroscience/psychology studies, if the data points don't fit the hypothesis, leave 'em out.

Not to mention, it's not like Curry was exhibiting "female" sexual behavior. In fact, this would appear to be pretty dominant alpha male (asshole) behavior:

Curry also made Kuchinsky perform "humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [Curry had ejaculated into] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says.

Or I could be wrong, maybe the gay gene is next to the degrading asshole gene. Doesn't seem like a desirable hypothesis either...

Apocalypse Porn

I don't know why this is, but pop culture is obsessed with the various ways the world can end. And I blatantly admit I am part of that group. Why is it so intriguing to imagine the planet engulfing itself into a black hole (my favorite), or freezing over, or having all of human life wiped out by a super virus? Hollywood has been banking on these scenarios for a while now, and I'll put my $11 down more often than not just to watch the CGI rendering of it on the big screen.

Well, Discovery channel is praying on my disaster lust with a really beautiful HD scenario of an asteroid making earth a little less hospitable for a while, all to the tune of Pink Floyd's Great Gig In The Sky. (Via fellow Apocalypse Porn Addict, Alex Rainert)

(Here is the link to the HD version if it didn't embed properly below...)

The Hiccup Project

A long time ago, I had this idea I would write a screenplay about a guy that rises to fame curing hiccups around the world. I deemed myself a shaman that had the powers to sniff them out, and exorcise the demons from the body. If I put on a good enough show, it really did cure people's hiccups because they believed it. It was a form of hypnosis really.

I can't say I understand a lot about the mechanism of hiccups or why they happen, but I did figure out that if you can distract someone from them, they go away. From Wikipedia:

"While numerous home remedies are offered, they mostly fall into three broad categories. These categories include purely psychosomatic cures centered around relaxation and distraction..."

As people were leaving my friend Alex's holiday party last night, I noticed my tipsy friend had the hiccups, and I could tell they were the lethal kind that makes you feel like either you can't breathe or that you might puke. Since I didn't have the energy to put on the old hiccup-curing shaman act, I asked her to count down in sevens from 101, which she found really irritating. One, because I think she was paranoid that she wasn't good at math (distraction #1), and two, that she was a bit annoyed that I was forcing the issue so much (distraction #2).

So with some more coaxing, we did it together: "ninety....four....eighty...seven..." She was so self-conscious and distracted that by the time she got to seventy three, they were gone. Felt good that I was able to help, but I think she was still mad that I made her do math on a Saturday night...go figure...

Upon a little more research, I found an evolutionary theory of hiccups. Amphibians have a specific motor respiratory mechanism that has them gulp air and water, which basically looks like a human hiccup. So this respiration reflex is an antecedent to our modern, mammalian version of breathing. This would explain why infants have the hiccups so frequently - they haven't fully developed the normal breathing mechanism, and are still enacting a phylogenetically earlier respiratory characteristic.

It seems we are on the precipice of learning how much willful control we can have over what we ordinarily consider our "automatic" physiology. The process of how to manipulate physical processes is obviously still sloppy, but I have a feeling new and proven techniques are going to explode into pop culture. Curing hiccups is only the beginning my friends...

[Another thing to consider - why is it so fun to watch people with hiccups?]



Especially Southern Meteorologists: